this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
