I am puke
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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