Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
