yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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