What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize