I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
