I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize