We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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