This girl is more easily done than said...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
