i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
