We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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