I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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