Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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