i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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