Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
