My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
