Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
