Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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