I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
