He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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