it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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