i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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