she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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