Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
