so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Don't make out with my wife yet
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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