Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
