Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
