Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize