I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
