i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize