Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
