My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
