Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
farters have to be the big spoon...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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