i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
