Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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