haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
