I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
