We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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