Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You are the jesus of drinking
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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