Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
