I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
