My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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