We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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