Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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