i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
