Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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