I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
