New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
