Where is the hickey?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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