He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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