Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
