i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
