I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
