Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
