69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
