I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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