I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
oh god was she eating orange peels again
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
