i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize