Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
