Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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