Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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