If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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