yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My bed smells like the plague
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
