I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
